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Now, that's all well and good... and if religionism had anything to do with it then that would be the way it would read and that would the end of that, amen. Luckily we have a more substantial version of how Dickism began. Here it is in its entirety (it's just jazzed up a tad):

Long ago, before the internet bacame as available (accessable, congested, full of fools) as it is today, there existed a FTN (Fidonet technology network) called Coastlink. The geographical centre of this network was the eastern central coast of Australia. It was a nice family type network that everyone seemed to enjoy. Most of the people in it were pretty much content and happy for most of the time. Fights were rare. Vulgarities were even more rare. It was Utopia. Sound boring? It was pathetic.

I don't think Dick was the only one who regarded it as boring. Dick was a lowly user at the time but another, who was a System Operator, also thought that Coastlink was boring. The System Operator happened to be a Christian. We may call him Rante. Rante had been a member of Coastlink for many years. Rante had also been a Christian for many years... and never the twain did meet... until one day in an unexpected fit of religious regurgitation...

Rante was a Born Again Christian (or Xtian). On this fateful day, Rante decided to be "born again, again... in Coastlink. With the help of a newly acquired sidekick (who we will call Ernst), Rante proceeded to spam every area of Coastlink with a religious fervor in an attempt to convert every man, woman, child, dog, hamster and goldfish to Xtianity in an attempt to save their mortal souls.

Now, that's not say that we weren't grateful! We were. We just didn't realise it at the time.

Moderators (remember them?) were called upon to sort out the spamming and, to this end, the Xtians were eventually given an area of their own in which to "rant". This didn't altogether stop them from infiltrating other areas of Coastlink in regular raids however, and, slowly but surely, their numbers grew among us. And the arguments continued.

At first there were a few sporadic bursts of resentment. But it soon grew to all out war. And so it was that Dick joined in the fight to try to rationalise with the Xtian heathens. Using their own logic he created a new religion. This new religion he called Dickism. Being the sole believer in the faith at the time of it's creation, he made himself the leader of this religion with the title of Pope. Very soon there-after (realising that he was the Pope of his religion), he made himself the self-confessed messiah. As the messiah of Dickism he declared that he was the singular superior being of that reality and therefore worthy of the title of God. Although it may sound like an overly complex process, it did in fact take place in a matter of minutes over a few sips of draught.

History teaches us that Dick was in fact supping Toohey's Draught at the time. Toohey's Draught is still available and is considered the official holy beverage of Dickism.

And so it was that Dickism was born. The centre of Dickism revolves around the religious consumption of alcohol in various forms. Beer is the preferred beverage of the Dickyite, however, and may be consumed in copious quantities.

1. Thou shalt have no other beers before me. You wait til' I get there and then you start buying the rounds.
2. Thou shalt not worship any other beer but that which you are drinking at the time.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy beer in vain; for thy fellow man will be angered when the barman starts to ignore your shout.
4. Remember thy sabbath. Depending on the country you're in at the time... the pub may be shut.
5. Honour thy mother and father for their beer drinking was legendary before thee no matter what they tell you they were like when they were your age.
6. Thou shalt not kill... beer. Flat beer never appealed to anyone. Drink it quickly.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery of thy neighbor's beer.
8. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's beer (just in case the above commandment is a little ambiguous to some).
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor if it's his shout next.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours beer. Lest you do so, see item 7 (if still unsure- see item number 8).

It is said that there were in fact more to add to this list... but in his inebriation the messiah lost most of the commandments. This was taken as a sign and there was much rejoicing and "pissing up" within the faith. During this time the remaining commandments that you see here were "translated" into their current form, or- God-breathed.

Once realising that arguing with the growing Xtian horde was becoming something of a joke, people decided to throw much of their logically based arguments out of the window and convert to Dickism. Dickism made sense to people because it allowed them to base their arguments on the same level of logic that was being employed by Xtians. The difference was that while the Xtians were using religious fervor to organise their logic, the Dickyite would use a form of meditation called "pissing up" with which to focus his/her inner eye.

Very soon, the Xtian hordes were driven back into their assigned area within Coastlink. But it was too late. Inspired by their initial success, the Dickyites followed the Xtians into their lair and for twelve long months battled with them on their own ground (sometimes making sense and winning an argument or two). Towards the end of the fight the religion of Dickism had more faithful followers than the insipid Xtians. Dickism had no alternative but to cater to its growing forces and support their gallant jihad with spurious tales of the teachings of Dick.

It was about this time when one of the more colorful characters of the faith appeared- John the Raptist. John's faithful devotion to Dickism (his teachings and the erection of many temples in pubs and bars) led to a life of celibacy dedicated to drinking beer and fighting the Xtian scum. His fame spread about the lands and brought many people to the foray from far and wide to listen to the teachings of Dick and see the battle with the Xtians in progress. Thanks to John, many of the teachings of Dick and the disciples survived the great purges of Moderation and are still freely available from obscure sites.

To this day, the search continues for original extracts of Dickism.

Suffice to say that at the end of a long battle with the Xtians, the Dickyites won out (one of the few recorded wars involving BACs that they actually limped away from in disgust) and the Xtians were rarely heard from again. The odd veteran will still appear in the aging FTN but now with the depletion of such networks it looks as though they may have left the holy grounds of Coastlink to rot with it's infestation of "heathens".

Now we invite you to join a renewed battle on a new front. The flame wars will be renewed with old and new enemies alike, I have no doubt. Come- have a glass, a schooner or a pint with us...

Reverend Dick's Online Mass